Well frozen fiends and freaks it’s that time of year again when we open our wallets wide and forcibly remove large wads of cash to shower those that we sorta like with things they don’t need or possibly want in order to maintain our fragile relationships tenuously held together with tinsel. Or maybe that’s just me? Here’s my gift to you loyal readers, a new batch of great films for your viewing enjoyment while you sip hot chocolate and shut out the freezing world outside. As a special treat, I’m bringing you some of the best films released in 2013, according to myownself. And for those of you who do not observe the Christian-ified pagan holiday worshiping excess, count yourself lucky.
Burn is a documentary about the brave men and women that fight fires in arguably the most dangerous city in the U.S., Detroit. It’s a multi-layered film covering many topics expertly. I didn’t want it to end and was sad when it did.
Only God Forgives (2013)
Booed at Cannes, on many worst-of lists on major publications, I loved it, like a controlling incestuous mother loves her violent son. Brimming over with style, this one is somewhere in-between Drive and Vallhalla Rising on Refn’s line graph of stoic brutality.
The Iceman (2013)
Michael Shannon plays a notorious mob hit man who was in the business of whacking for 20 years. Plus it’s got Ray Liota, James Franco and Winona Ryder in it. Great violent film that lets Shannon shine. Plus it’s got Dave Schwimmer in it playing a coke dealer… which was weird.
Horror fiends I didn’t forget you. Check out this Irish monster flick about a town under siege by giant Lovecraftian tentacled creatures from the sea. Their defense against these old ones from the deep? Gettin’ pissed! They don’t like boozy prey so the whole town takes refuge in the local pub and gets sloshed. Featuring a great creature design and a fun script, this one’s a winner.
Upstream Color (2013)
Fans of arty sci-fi rejoice, the director of Primer (2004) has finally released a new film and it’s a doozy. Stylish, dramatic, dense, but much more follow-able than Primer, Upstream Color is where high-concept sci-fi and understated indie arthouse meet and make a beautiful baby.
Super X-tra Bonus Stocking Stuffers!
Just for you for being such a good boy or girl or anything in between, I’ve picked three X-mas movies for your kringle enjoyment.
Jack Frost (1997)
Not to be confused with the Michael Keaton yawnfest of the same name, this one is about a giant killer snowman who also enjoys sexual assault. Gory, cheesy, and so bad it’s good, show this one at your next hipster ugly sweater party while you sip hot toddy’s and wear glasses you don’t need. P.S. I love this movie.
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
This is the best Christmas dark fairy tale flick ever made, and I hazard to guess it will always be the best. This Finnish film is beautifully filmed, expertly written, well acted and bubbling over with creativity. This one is destined to become an annual must watch for all us genre freaks. Santa Claus is an evil dude with a gaggle of evil elves to do his evil bidding. And it’s 100% better then that terrible synopsis. If Guillermo Del Toro made a Christmas movie, it’d be like this.
Saint Nick (2010)
Another killer Claus flick this one from the Netherlands. This follows their traditional tale of Krampus and it’s pretty dang good. Too bad it’s dubbed on Netflix but if it’s the only way to watch, then don’t fret. Rare Exports it ain’t. Just a fun flick.