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In keeping with an old post of mine – and a way of reviewing films that I find fascinating – I’m going to kick off an idea here. If you don’t want to read the other article, it’s a very simple concept. Sportswriter Joe Posnanski pitched the idea of reviewing a movie before seeing it (what you are expecting) and comparing that to your actual impressions of the movie (what you watched). Tonight – well, in about an hour and a half, actually – I will be going to the Sunnyside Center to watch Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. I’m going to write a few words on it now, write a few words on it afterwards, and compare both when all is said and done. I expect this will be the first of many reviews written this way, so please enjoy!

Expectations

I have been looking forward to Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance for quite some time now. It started as a bit of a joke – I have made my feelings on Nicholas Cage known a few times before, and people kept asking me if this meant I was insanely excited for Ghost Rider. In truth, I was kind of ambivalent. I do love Cage, and I didn’t hate the first one, but not-hating a movie and actively hoping for a sequel aren’t exactly the same thing. The trailer for the film wasn’t terrible. Cage seemed to be in fine form, and the few bits of dialogue by Idris Elba added gravitas as only Idris Elba can. It all added up to something I would probably see, if only because people look to me to guide their feelings on Cage, and that is a solemn responsibility and one I fulfill without hesitation.

However, things have perked up a bit in the last couple of weeks. Cage got a little bit of press for an interview where he seemed to claim that he was Ghost Rider. Read between the lines and you’ll see that he’s obviously having fun with the role, painting his face up in voodoo colors and finding a way to enjoy his time in a motion-capture suit. It served as a reminder of how delightfully wacky (and, more importantly, adorably sincere) Cage can be in all of his roles. That interview, and the mild poking around I did afterwards, made me realize something that I must have missed – Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance was being directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor, the action-packed directing duo with the collective attention span of an undersized gnat. The two directors (responsible for both Crank movies and the underrated Gamer) make movies that, like Cage, never apologize for going over the top. Crank 2 in particular was a movie that I could scarcely believe existed – so much sheer insanity packed into one little package, all hinging on the complete cooperation and good nature of the movie’s lead, Jason Statham. With an actor and directors both committed to entertainment without shame, would Ghost Rider actually stumble its way into “good movie” territory? Would Cage’s trademarked intensity be gleefully used for good instead of evil? I’m willing to bet that Ghost Rider will end up a lot like Neveldine/Taylor’s other films – lots of good, a fair amount of bad, and one helluva crazy fucking performance by the lead. I’m aware that I might be setting myself up for disappointment here, but I’m going in with the expectation of 3/4 stars.

A few hopeful predictions? Cage has at least one or two lines that immediately shoot to the top of his quote book, Ghost Rider kills someone by actually hitting them with his motorcycle (as in, picks it up and hits them) no less than ten times, and Idris Elba says some sort of Bible verse, followed by, “Mother fucker!” Bonus points if it turns out that Ghost Rider is actually Chev Chelios reincarnated from the end of Crank 2 in the form of Nicholas Cage, proving once and for all that Neveldine and Taylor are creating their own bizarro film universe where each movie is connected.

Review

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance was almost everything I expected, if only a little worse – if I had been realistic with my expectations, I would have guessed for a 2.5/5 and been perfectly content with where it stood. Guess that’s what I get for being bullish.

The nicest thing I can say about the movie’s plot is that it has one. There is some nonsense about the devil fathering a child to act as his vessel on earth – not exactly new territory being broken. If the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn’t exist, then coming in second-place must be convincing Hollywood that his only real desire is to be a baby-daddy. The devil isn’t really a scary character if he’s wielding his power like a bludgeon. In order to create a truly sinister devil, you need to present a character as moving in the shadows, fully capable of doing whatever he wants to do, but realizing that evil only really matters if its performed by someone with a soul. But no, baby-daddy. Gotchya. Ghost Rider shows up, and there’s some bad guys, and they get set on fire, and who cares? Not like you were going to see it for the story anyways.

So why were you going to see it? Two reasons – Nicolas Cage and some of that Crank voodoo that they do so well. How does the movie rank?

The first thing that I noticed about the movie was, holy shit, Cage is having a good time. Cage is a huge comic book fan – consider the famous theft of his Action Comics #1 or his interesting choice of name for his son. A few years ago, he was even in the running to play Superman – it’s not exactly a secret that Cage has wanted to play a superhero for a very long time, and until Ghost Rider, he didn’t have much of a chance. But Cage finally got his superhero! And regardless of what everyone else thinks, he’s having the time of his life. The is the leg-kicking, crazy-grinning, manic-laughter Cage of yesteryear, and I cannot be the only one that missed him. I’ve often talked about how Cage always provides 100% intensity in all of his bad movies, but this may be the first bad movie in a while where he looks like he’s actually having fun.

He’s not the only one having a good time, though. Idris Elba – who is cool incarnate on both sides of the ocean – dives into his small role as an alcoholic French priest, and gives a fun role culminating in one of the better death scenes I’ve seen in a while (Oh, what’s that? You didn’t expect Idris Elba to die in a Ghost Rider movie? Shame on you, that shouldn’t even qualify as a spoiler). Meanwhile, Ciarin Hinds as the devil, previous complaints aside, is chewing up scenery and spitting it out on the other side. It’s a strange thing to see – as the devil uses more of his power, it kills more of his body (there’s a pretty good line about the devil in human form being a “paper mache flamethrower”). So we have Satan being a monster who is watching his body fall apart, and Hinds chooses to play him as… well, as kind of a stroke victim. It’s an interesting choice, and one that I thought would have a bit more backlash, but a quick Google search shows no American Stroke Association protests of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance. So Nicolas Cage might be the most subdued actor of the bunch – not even mentioning a small appearance by the Highlander, Christopher Lambert, as a tattooed monk. Ham! Ham for everyone!

And what about Neveldine and Taylor? They’re in full form here. Plenty of crazy brilliance (short jump cuts and the like), topped my favorite Neveldine/Taylor-ism, the strange use of a dance scene. The first time we see Ghost Rider, he’s in the middle of some sort of weird swaying dance scene, because of course he is. Sadly, the action doesn’t quite hold up throughout the entire movie – as with Gamer et al, the humor in the beginning slowly gives away to ponderous seriousness, which means you have just another mediocre action film. But there’s some brilliance in the beginning, and that gave me my fill of what I was looking for.

Ultimately, my expectations were mostly met. It was slightly worse than I expected, which is about what I expected, if that makes any sense. A half-a-star difference isn’t anything to get yourself worked up over, and ultimately, you knew whether or not you were going to watch it from the very first moment. I doubt this review, or all the reviews in the known universe, is enough to change your mind. Just go in with appropriate expectations and you should be fine. I’ll take something like this over Drive any day of the week.