Treasure Train a.k.a. The Emperor of Peru a.k.a. Odyssey of the Pacific is a bizarre movie. It’s one of those films you shouldn’t watch alone. It begs to be viewed en masse, with much pausing, and rewinding, and guffawing in disbelief.
Let’s get down to business (because, seriously, I need to talk about this one). Liz and her younger brother Toby live with their aunt and uncle. Toby has a duck that he yanks around by the rope that’s tied to his leg (!). He often slips into elaborate daydreams wherein he is some kind of hero and/or champion. In these fantasies, he pokes and prods the duck. Oh, and the duck’s name is Federico. He and Toby will someday be famous race car drivers. The kids’ aunt and uncle decide to house a Cambodian boy named Hoang. This seems like a noble gesture, but the odd close-ups of the all 3 children’s pained faces as the adults command them to kiss hello made me uncomfortable.
In fact, a lot of this film made me uncomfortable, and not just Toby’s duck poking. Hoang and the siblings become fast friends and soon the boy begins to express a desire to get back to Cambodia… to marry his mother. This isn’t some subtle Oedipal undercurrent that I was able to decipher because I’m super good at movie watching. Hoang says, “If I get married it’ll be to my mother.” Liz even asks him if he’ll know how to kiss his mother when he gets home. He says no and then they give each other an admittedly innocent peck on the lips, but still. It was a weird sexual awakening sort of moment that seemed odd in a story about a steam engine. Oh man, I haven’t even mentioned the train yet.
The scenes of the kids at home are inter-cut with them finding, fixing up, and learning to operate, the aforementioned steam engine. This is where Mickey Rooney comes in. He is the titular Emperor of Peru a.k.a. the looney tax dodging dude confined to a wheelchair who lives in the woods. In between giving life lessons, he goes on wild, most likely unscripted, rants. These monologues make little sense and become truly grating as the film chugs on. There are times when the kids look bored out of their skulls. For whatever reason, he encourages these 3 minors to scrub the rust off the train and use it to bring Hoang home to Cambodia.
I realize this review might not make sense. But guess what, neither does this film. At one point, just as I settled into the crazy, thinking nothing could surprise me, 3 sad hobo clowns show up! They walk on a wire, feed each other grapes, and then leave! This movie is insane! And I love it! This is 1980′s children’s cinema at its finest: bizarre, inappropriate, jaw-dropping. At one point Toby proclaims that he’s “braver than Popeye; braver than Joan of Arc.” There are also scenes of Cambodian folks being terrorized. I nearly shed a tear as Hoang is separated from his mother. That is until he says, “You could put me inside your tummy and pretend I’m your pet dog or cat.” I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to feel about that.
Treasure Train (which is what we shall call it for now because that is the title on its Blu-ray release) is fantastically bizarre. Toby is awesome and the most entertaining part of the film. In a perfect world, all the Rooney crowing would be removed and replaced by the outlandish explorations the young boy concocts in that flaxen melon of his.
The Blu-ray is being released by Odyssey Moving Images, the new label from Cult Epics owner Nico Bruinsma. Treasure Train‘s transfer is lovely and boasts an new interview with Mickey Rooney. I’m looking forward to seeing what other titles are unearthed.
