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“I’m a rocker… I play the drums.”
Command Performance is co-written, directed and stars an aging, yet still very striking (in the most hetro way) Dolph Lundgren. Dolph’s character John McClain… I mean “Joe”, ro
Published on November 27, 2009 | Filed under Review

Command Performance is co-written, directed and stars an aging, yet still very striking (in the most hetro way) Dolph Lundgren. Dolph’s character John McClain… I mean “Joe”, rocks hard in a band called CMF (Cheap Motherfucker…aptly named for the band’s manager), which seems to be Russia’s answer to Creed. Joe spends most of the first half of the movie sans a shirt and without many speaking lines, but who needs lines when you get to watch Lundgren kill terrorists with drumstick…AND a guitar? CMF and a handful of other musical artists play a high profile benefit “gig” in Russia, it just so happens the Russian President and his two daughters are in attendance. The Ruski Prez wronged someone back in 1992 and during the concert, the arena gets taken over by armed terrorists, led by the very man Prez done did wrong. But all that doesn’t matter, what matters is action! And Command Performance has it, although it’s not as impressive as some big budget Hollywood picture, but it’s still entertaining. Joe eventually graduates from drumsticks and guitars to knives and guns to the dismay of the bad guys. Can Joe and a few scattered good guys save the Russian President and his daughters before the revenge crazed madman can accomplish his evil plot??? Well, you’ll just have to watch and find out!

Although I will tell you that it seemed like by the end of the movie the rest of CMF was dead. Which sort of bummed me out, I could tell Joe really loved to rock. So I thought I’d put together a super group so Joe can continue to do what he loves most.

Drummer: Joe
Obviously Joe is everything you’d want in a drummer. He’s handsome, as wise as an old tree, good with the ladies and a serviceable drummer with a talent for crazy intricate fills.

Lead Guitar/Pocket Trumpet: Buckaroo Banzai
The man opened the door to the 8th dimension. Rock N Roll.

Rhythm Guitar/Vocals: Reggie
Sure he’s probably high a lot and he seems to want to hang out with your little brother all the time, but is that such a big deal? He’s talented, laid back and probably pays wholesale prices for ice cream.

Bass: This Guy

Keyboard: Winslow Leach/The Phantom of the Paradise
A musical genius in his own right and more talented than The Juicy Fruits, The Beach Bums & The Undeads.

Command Performance is available for instant watch via my best friend, Netflix.

Designer and Publisher. Fan of Carpenter, De Palma, the Revenge of the Nerds series, reading subtext theories, film poster art, and soundtracks, among other things. Not a film critic nor an academic, just passionate about the medium.

Dylan Santurri

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  • Naked Eskimo

    Barb needs to read this review. She'll get a kick out of it. Good review and yea, this movie was awesome action cheese. Not much of that left, anymore.

  • christine

    I fucking love Reggie Bannister. He's a hottie.

  • kookiebish

    I love the new band! Reggie Bannister *and* Winslow Leach?? So nice!